Top-third members don’t mind spending 5, 6, or 7 nights a week in meetings, events and activities for your organization. But this overwhelming and demanding calendar might be burning out your middle-third members and driving down morale.
In this video blog, I discuss some steps you can take to evaluate your calendar, trim it, and improve the events you decide to keep.
Here’s a “what if” for you. And, I ask it to generate valuable conversation only. I’m not sure where I stand on the idea.
What if student leadership conferences were responsibly “wet?”
My partner works with homeless populations. It’s a challenging group because they depend almost entirely on public dollars for programs to help them get housing, counseling, job placement, child care, health services, etc.
Many of those who work with the homeless have learned that imposing rules based on public morality actually prevents positive change. Expecting homeless people to completely go cold turkey on drugs or alcohol, for example, stands in the way of actually getting homeless people off the streets, into housing, and in a better place.
If you don’t believe me, read this article. You know what’s working? Realistic approaches.
It’s the same concept that has existed for years with intravenous drug users and needle exchange programs. Yes, we wish the addict would stop injecting substances, but until he does, give him clean needles to slow infection rates, incentivize better choices, and save a lot of public money. Expecting intravenous drug addicts to simply stop in order to get services helps no one.
You might disagree, and that’s your prerogative. But, I feel pretty good that I’m right on this one. I admire those people, like my partner, who fight for the opportunity to actually help people, regardless of public politics.
As I was reading the article, it got me thinking about all the student leadership conferences I attend this time of year, and the battle against alcohol that rages at them.
A huge amount of energy is spent trying to police the alcohol consumption of student participants.
What if, instead of fighting many students’ desire to consume alcohol, we allowed it in a safe and monitored environment? Would it really be so heinous for a 21-year-old fraternity man to enjoy a beer while watching the step show? Would allowing professionals access to a cash bar for a glass of wine really fly in the face of higher education values?
Are we teaching leadership – really? – by imposing an unrealistic standard?
Again, I’m just asking the question to spur discussion.
Yes, alcohol abuse is a terrible problem, and thousands of terrible decisions are made under the influence on campuses every day. But does the paternalistic, puritanical approach actually work? Is anyone asking the question?
What if our leadership conferences made it part of their mission to model something more mature. Could we pull it off? Amid all of our educational breakout sessions on risk management and responsible decision-making, could we actually create an environment that encouraged them?
What if, instead of fighting the exhausting battle against consumption, we instead shifted our efforts to fighting immaturity around alcohol?
Very quietly, some national fraternities are choosing to embrace the reality that students might want to legally partake in the context of a leadership event. They are taking their members to sporting events, and there is no active discouragement of legal purchase and consumption at the ballpark. Sigma Alpha Epsilon Fraternity holds their leadership school on a cruise ship (not dry) and by all accounts, it’s a pretty fun and engaging event. Phi Kappa Psi Fraternity has held their leadership school at a resort in Cabo San Lucas, and many professionals I know who have attended say that the students, by and large, act very responsibly balancing the evening social time with the daytime learning.
What do you think? Do you think we could pull it off?
We say we are creating an alcohol-free learning environment. But, many of us know that’s a fantasy. If our goal is to somehow convert student leaders into non-drinkers, we are failing. Is there some sort of moderate compromise?
What if we set an expectation of better choices instead of abstinence?
A “wet” program for the homeless in Seattle found that by allowing those using lodging for the homeless to consume moderate amounts in a controlled setting, they reduced overall consumption. By allowing moderated consumption, they reduced overall consumption, and saved the city more than $36,000 annually in services per individual.
Is there a lesson in there for leadership programmers?
The single biggest mistake that top-third student leaders make is thinking that all members are motivated by the same things that motivate them.
While top-third leaders are motivated by winning, recognition, status, influence, awards, problem-solving and becoming identified with their organization, middle-third members are motivated by different things.
What gets your middle third member engaged?
Balance. While top-third members make numerous personal sacrifices for their leadership positions, middle-third members care deeply about maintaining balance among various priorities. While engaging in group activities six out of seven nights is perfectly normal for a top-third leader, it causes stress and exhaustion for the middle-third member trying to balance involvement with classes, a relationship, a job, or involvement in other organizations. Your organization might be a big priority, but it’s not their only one.
Are you demanding too much time?
Harmony. Nothing makes a leader more competitive than an “enemy” to focus on. Many top-third leaders are fueled by the endless discord with bottom-third members. Every meeting feels like a power struggle, and all that drama causes stress for middle-third members. They like your organization best when people are getting along. They prefer a collegial tone, and when you are stressed out, angry, or venting, you turn them off. They might actually side with bottom-third members on an issue just to get you to pipe down.
Are you feeding the drama in your organization?
Fellowship. For middle-third members, it’s not necessarily about the stressful big events like Homecoming, Greek Week, or the big fundraiser. Middle-third members just enjoy being with their teammates, brothers, sisters, fellow members. Just sharing a meal, gathering to watch a game, playing intramurals, or hanging out can be a real boost to their commitment. While top-third members are concerned about “doing something” at all times, middle-third members can enjoy doing absolutely nothing as long as it’s with friends. In fact, that fellowship is probably the main benefit they gain from being a part of your organization, and anything that detracts from that is problematic.
Are you offering enough opportunities for members to simply enjoy each other?
Choice. Middle-third members typically have favorite parts of your organization. They enjoy certain activities a lot, and others not so much. When top-third members are forcing (through guilt, fines, and pressure) everyone to contribute 100-percent to every single activity, it wears out middle-third members. If your calendar is full of mandatory events that middle-third members feel compelled to do, they get cranky. Middle-third members like to be led, but they don’t want you choosing their adventure for them.
Are your members able to choose their involvements, or are they being dictated to them?
