T.J. Sullivan

Transferring brothers and sisters frequently struggle to lead in their new chapters

I got this message last week from a student who transferred last year to a new campus.  She’s making an effort to transfer her student leadership experience from one sorority chapter to the chapter at her new campus, but she has hit a roadblock.

“I recently transferred schools and affiliated with my sorority at my new school. The chapter here is struggling to maintain members. I became the chapter’s vice president, and I have some ideas that worked for my chapter at my previous school, but none of the other officers at my new chapter will listen to me.

The problem starts with our president. Nothing ever gets done. This chapter is not the experience I signed up for at my other school.  I want to help here, as I recognize the importance of lifetime membership, but am struggling to unify our chapter and address the leadership problems. Our local advisors are no help.”

If it’s any consolation to this young woman, I would tell her that she’s not alone. Transferring from one fraternity or sorority chapter to another is like moving to a new country. You need to learn the language, the political and cultural taboos, and the history of the new people. The letters might be the same, but it’s a whole different world.

Some transfers navigate that, adjusting to the new chapter’s culture successfully. Others have a terrible experience and hang up their letters.

I was struck by the fact that this young woman was elected vice president in her first year with the new chapter.  It suggests that a good number of women in the new chapter saw leadership potential in her and trusted her to assume a very high leadership position.  Of course, when a new person comes into an established group and quickly becomes a dominant force, tension is likely.  Perhaps other women voted onto the chapter’s executive council became threatened. Perhaps they didn’t like this new presence stealing their thunder – riding in on a white horse to save the chapter.

I’m willing to bet, reading between the lines of her email, that the newly elected president feels threatened by her.  I bet the new chapter’s advisors also don’t like the idea of a woman they barely know sitting in the vice president’s position.

Truthfully, there is always someone who feels that the transfer didn’t earn his or her new status in the group. It doesn’t matter if you’re the smartest student leader on the planet, many don’t want to see you jump to the front of the line. Despite her very best intentions, this young woman probably is perceived this way by some of the members of her new chapter.  And anyone who’s witnessed a political battle in a sorority knows that it can become very personal, and very ugly, very quickly.

I have seen transfer students excel in their new environment, but it usually happens when the transfer takes a low profile for at least a year.  My initial thought upon reading this message from the young woman was that she moved too quickly.  I’m sure her intentions were good – she saw a chance to help a struggling chapter achieve.  Certainly, she got the votes, so she must have had the confidence of a majority of members.  I bet no one warned her that a majority vote means nothing when you’re up against a small, powerful minority that wants to see you flounder.

There are many anecdotes of students transferring from one campus to another and bringing along the worst habits of their previous chapter with them.  Fraternities frequently deal with transfers who bring hazing traditions with them.  If the person’s previous chapter was bigger (had a bigger house, had more members, or is simply located at a more respected school), there is often a willingness on the part of the new chapter to adopt the transfer’s negative ideas.

There are also many anecdotes of transfer students bringing amazing ideas to their new chapters.  Often, transfer students are sought by national men’s groups to help launch interest groups of their fraternity at the new school.

If a student fraternity/sorority member transferring to a new school asked me for my advice, I would suggest that he or she take a little time to adjust to their new environment before jumping into a quick affiliation with the new chapter.  Take a semester or more, socialize with members, and wait to be asked to affiliate with the new group.  I would then suggest that the person contribute as positively as possible, perhaps taking on lower-level, less coveted leadership roles.  Serve in places and in ways that are not controversial. Spend time building trust with anyone who seems threatened by you.  Help others achieve their goals.  Listen, and avoid the temptation to solve every problem at the new chapter by doing something you learned at your old chapter.  Remember that while some people might see you as a savior, others will always see you as an outsider.

To this young woman, I would suggest that she has a monumental struggle ahead of her.  She can either lead a coup, perhaps saving the chapter with better ideas, motivation of younger members, and an accrual of successes.  But, she is probably going to pay a steep emotional price to do it.  She will need to decide if it’s worth it.  An alternative would be to have some improved communication with her fellow officers and her new advisors, asking how she can help them achieve their goals.  Become their ally and asset.  Tolerate some of the stupidity in the interest of a collaborative approach.

But, for certain, this young woman needs to choose an approach.  Working hard only to be rewarded with exclusion and derision is a fast path to stress, anger and burnout.  Take the first steps, extend a hand, try to work cooperatively.  If that fails, you can either take a giant step back, leave the group entirely, or step up the game and brace for a war.  Regardless of which path you choose, seek a change in the current situation, because right now it’s unhealthy.

Remember, there are many opportunities to honor your lifetime commitment.  You can be an advisor or a volunteer to a chapter after you graduate.  You can contribute to your foundation.  You can network with other sorority alumni in your area.  Many people who have had these negative chapter experiences go into Student Affairs as a profession.  All of these options are open to you, regardless of how the relationship with the new chapter turns out.

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I would be interested to hear from any of you who have dealt with a member transferring into your chapter from another chapter at another school.  Did it go well?  Did the person assimilate and find their place successfully in the new chapter?  If so, how did he or she do it?  Any stories of transferred members who caused damage, or who were made to feel unwelcome?  Why did that happen?  Please share.

Posted in Communication, Greeks, People on Thursday, July 22nd, 2010 | You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.